Last night I had the most beautiful dream. I was shown another aspect of the powerful tenderness of the Lord, He revealed His tremendous love, forgiveness and mercy to me and when I woke from the dream and began recording it, I kept saying, “Thank you Jesus” over and over again because the dream gave me such tremendous pleasure and joy – it is indescribable the intimacy displayed in the dream. I’m so honored and I can’t even comprehend the blessing He’s bestowed on me.
Today as I listened to the recording while jotting the dream down in my journals, I just began weeping. I wept because of all the lost years, the years I spent toiling in the world, lusting after the things of the flesh and the world, and I realize what a waste of precious time those years were! If I would have just stopped long enough to really, truly seek our Lord Jesus with all my heart, not just with words, but really understood the treasure that Jesus truly is – well I can’t imagine where I’d be today in my walk with Him.
Don’t get me wrong, I constantly had Jesus on my lips, everyone knew and knows me to be a Christian, I never hid my faith or belief in Jesus under a bushel – but I spent so much time living in error, not fully understanding the true meaning of “relationship” with Jesus…what a terrible crying shame!! I’m so upset at myself for being a blunderer for so long, I think of these wonderful dreams I’m having and the depth of the love and compassion the Lord is tenderly displaying to me and I am so humbled, I’m so humbled – I don’t deserve this honor, to be visited by the Lord night after night – who am I that He should spend so much time with me? I’m nothing! I don’t deserve this blessing at all, I’m certain there are more pious people out there, people who have done more for the cause of Christ than I ever have and could ever hope to!
In front of everyone, I don’t care who is reading this – I want to say, “Abba! Father, forgive me, forgive me for wasting so much time on the things of this world, for being wise in my own eyes, for thinking I had it all together, for causing you grief and grieving your Spirit, forgive me Lord! I repent and turn away from all unrighteousness in favor of your Loving Kindness, your Forgiveness, and your Mercy… ”
….there’s no turning back for me now, and I would never want to, I’m more adamant now to serve Christ than ever before…. I mean….what would I go back to…? …the filth and garbage of this world??
No thank you.
2Pe 2:19-21 While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage. For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.